I Love Tito's Tacos, You Love Tito's Too...

Before we get any further, crank up the volume on your computer and go to this website:

http://www.titostacos.com/

Never in the history of man has a song captured the essence of something as well as the Tito's Tacos theme song captures the joy that is Tito's. Mozart? He can suck it, those flimsy string melodies in "A Little Nightmusic" have nothing on the solid percussive backbone of a homeless man playing on a steel can. Mariah? The floozy couldn't hold the dirty, salsa stained lyrics of the Tito's song while that creepy lady in the picture holding the taco belts out her enchanting ode to tacos. In future years untold numbers of people are going to worship the Tito's song and that creepy lady, just like they worship the Wild Stallions in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

As for the Taco's, untold numbers of Angelenos worship them now. Our hosts at The Syndicate in Santa Monica, an absolutely stellar design, telecine, and VFX house located just blocks from the ocean, were gracious enough to make the trip out to Tito's (it's a bit of a hike, on Washington under the 405), and I would like to think we're all better for it.

The tacos are the star of the show. They are served two ways: with and without cheese. What they lack in variety they make up for by being mind blowingly delicious. I swear they must be laced with Ecstasy, because by outward appearances they look like a little fresher version of a Jack in the Box taco, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere BAM-- deliciousness unlike anything that has or ever will be produced by a Jack in the Box.

Additionally, all tacos are served with a heaping portion of chips and salsa, which is where things get complicated. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT use these chips and salsa like standard chips and salsa. These are not snacks, these are necessary components to your full Tito's experience. This is the peanut butter for your jelly. The Captain for your Tennille. Tito's Tacos are meant to be eaten a bite at a time with a medium sized chip and as much salsa as possible thrown on top. You can venture into other taco eating combinations if you want, but go do it at some bush league taco place; don't take your C level taco eating to Tito's. They'll laugh at you. If you so desire, you can also include the incredibly thin yet still somehow delicious guacamole on your salsa train, but don't forget the salsa. You're including the guac, not replacing the salsa.

Tacos are not the only thing on the menu however. It pains me to say, as a professed Tito's purist, that I ventured into burrito land this past time. While it was delicious, I cannot in good conscience recommend a burrito. It took up valuable taco space, and that's unacceptable.

As you know very well by now, there is no reason to pass on a Tito's Taco, because only thing better than a Tito's Taco, is two.