If you want people to treat you well, treat yourself well

So the Buddha appeared to me last night and said, "Hey man, you need to stop eating salami and pretzels and start respecting your body." And I said, "Hey man, why are you wearing a dress and get the hell out of my apartment." I think my slim chances for heaven just got slimmer, but so did my waist because I heeded the old bald guy's words and ate some better food for the day.

Once again, the day was spent in the lovely confines of Final Cut in Santa Monica, where the people are friendly but the dogs aren't (I don't think they like me so much).

Breakfast: a banana and a balance bar. Lots of "B"s. The banana was a standard banana, so it was mildly enjoyable, but like any banana it's a potential disaster. Have you ever bit into a mushy, dark part of a banana? Because a banana is bordering on baby food as it is. And to make it mushier? Disgusting. Risky breakfast food. Early in the morning, kinda groggy, distracted by a dog that doesn't like you and BAM you're eating extra mushy gerber before you know it. As for the balance bar, lets just say it could use some flavor, any flavor.

Lunch: a crab quesadilla and some soup. Might not sound too healthy, but it was ordered from a vaguely vegan and / or organic kitchen, the Interim Cafe, so even if it doesn't sound good for me it probably is by association. Hanging out with vegan cuisine either made my food healthier, or having to put up with uppity vegans annoyed my meal and convinced it that being healthy is not worth being a d-bag. Just to recap, the meal is either healthy or right, so I'm cool with it either way.

Snack time: bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, carrots, and hummus. This is one spot where the hippies got something right. As snacks go, mashed up garbanzo beans are so shockingly delicious it's borderline absurd. The gap between the concept and the actual result for hummus may be the widest one I know, or at least a close second to sushi (Let's wrap this fish in rice and not cook it!)

So a day of healthy eating resulted in this: I'm still kinda hungry, but I've lost 14 pounds and added 4 inches to my vert. Also, by my logic I've still got 4000 calories left in my daily diet, so to the bar I go! We'll see if I still pass on the cured meats after my 17th jack and diet coke (I am watching my weight, after all). Also, It only took 9 margaritas for me to discuss life with the Buddha last night, so by my logic I should get a visit from Jesus AND Harry Carey tonight. I'll let you know what they have to say tomorrow, but I'm hoping for something like this:

The J-Man: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
Harry Carey: Jesus Christ?!? That's Tirk Suesegh backwards! Cheers Tirk!